Things I have never done in life

To be honest, I had once managed to have a cup of cold coffee on a hot sunny day with Sridevi, sitting in a restaurant in MARS.

“LOL – It was in my dreams”

Now the things which I have never done – Here we go,

  1. I have never travelled in a helicopter.
  2. I have never tried to seek sympathy from the people I hate.
  3. I have never tasted brown sugar, cocaine or any other drugs in my life.
  4. I have never tried to steal mobile charger of my friends.
  5. I have never thought that I am a role model for the people who blindly follow me.
  6. I have never bought tomatoes from the fruit market and bananas from the vegetable market.
  7. I have never tried to insert a floppy disk into the CD drive. This I am referring to those days when we had 486/586 systems.
  8. I have never asked for a change of Rs.2000 in the denominations of Rs. 20.
  9. I have never participated in a sack race, kabaddi and volley ball.
  10. I have never taken an oath that I will give up the things to which I am addicted.
  11. I have never tried to know from my female school friends ( after 27 years when we met) as for why they never thought of admiring an intelligent person like me when I was studying with them.
  12. I have never changed my attitude towards life. I am as I was before and will be always in future, just as I am today.

Admin without letter ‘O’

Paragraph excludes the letter “O”

His Highness Shibu Bhavanandan is a smart, intelligent and clever admin. Whenever I met him at Dreams Mall, Bhandup, I felt he is a brilliant human being. His qualities are unmatchable and supreme.

Ladies in BPES 87-88 batch are simply fascinated by his charisma and style and the best thing is that he never tried taking advantage. His desires are crystal clear. I have never seen him flirting with my friends. He is a masterpiece and we all like him very much.

Whenever I feel like pulling his leg, I call him KAALIYA and he is receptive. We even like calling him JAADIYA, PAKAU but have never seen him in rage. He gracefully accepts all the titles which we give and the greetings extended by us.

He is mad after Chinese recipe and I have seen him eating chicken chilli like a hungry black pig at a restaurant in Dreams Mall. This interesting scene was witnessed by my friends.

My friend Shibu hardly watches any films during the weekends. He is blessed with a beautiful wife and naughty kids. His pastime activities include playing chess with his kids and disturbing his friends via WhatsApp chat regularly.

The next GRAND EVENT is scheduled in September and we all are equally excited. This is admin’s great achievement and we all admire him. It is very difficult finding such a fantastic man on this planet.

With this, I am ending this literature. I am sure this write-up will be appreciated by my friends.

Can you write something about you without the letter A

Good evening,

Unveiling the secret.

Since the beginning, I forcibly used to think over the topics which were not connected to the school curriculum. I loved discourses of OSHO, story books, funny jokes, Bollywood bits, crime news, sports news, books on science, fiction etc. Sometimes I kept myself glued to the TV shows, movies, listening songs etc.

To be honest, I strictly preferred only those things which I found interesting.

Friends loved listening to my PJ’s. When I spoke, the words were most of the times very well complemented with the strong sense of humour. This helped me to build  friendship with the others very quickly.

I never spoke in English with my friends in school due to less self- confidence in me. But I continued knowing new words, noted the synonyms of the words with the hopes, in future, I will get the opportunity to use those words in my life when I meet people in offices.

GI, the KPO where I currently work, blessed me by giving unique role which closely coincides with my hobbies. Routine work in GI involves monitoring the members who work under me & get things done from them, responding to clients on issues etc.

Other activities include telling cooked up stories to the staff, using witty one liners & responsible for providing positive environment to the entire office.

It sounds, I blow my trumpet most often but these views come from people who envy me. True well-wishers will recognise my strengths. They will get inspired by me, will follow me. It is proven truth, people who doubt my intelligence will not succeed in their efforts.

My suggestion to everyone is not to rely on others to excel in your life. Internet will guide you 24 x 7. Use your phone or Home PC’s during weekends. Spend few hours on the internet. Google does everything for you. You just need to pick the piece of stuff you need from this useful source. Surfing internet with specific purpose will help.

Best wishes for your successful growth in every sphere of life.

Enjoy your weekend.

Thank you Google

Belated wishes – GURU POORNIMA

Dear Google

On this auspicious day when students acknowledge their teacher’s contribution by paying respects and express their gratitude, please accept my deepest thanks for playing a crucial role in shaping up my professional career.

1. The transformation of average knowledge seeker to a successful and proactive self-learner was because of your presence, as my guide and tutor all these years. Your instant response to my queries has encouraged me to consistently and continually learn new things from you.
2. Thank you for those amazing and vibrant designs which I picked from the web pages assembled by you. I could create attractive e-cards for invitations, birthdays and for all kinds of events and celebrations.
3. I pursued a professional course which had LOTUS (forefather of EXCEL) as a part of curriculum in the year 1994 and that became totally outdated when my professional career was in the process of attaining stability. You taught me excel which was totally new for me then.
4. Always lived with the hopes that there should a digital library so that I can bring together all those bits and pieces which relates to me and are scattered on youtube, facebook and other websites.  I learned how to create my own blog from you –My dream has come true.
Last but not the least: I place you above all the teachers, bosses and mentors and I don’t have to pay or serve you to gain knowledge from you.
Thank you Google Guru.
Regards,

Arun Thevar

Mismatch Quotes

They added a drop of Sulfuric acid in water melon juice and poisoned him to death.

All the items credited to liabilities have to be transferred to the asset side of the profit and loss account.

The pattern lock of my mobile is similar to the one which is on the device that opens the gates of Pentagon.

Venomous snake reached the top of the skyscraper through the optical fibre cables. The snake catchers are using the elevators to reach there.

Flame of the candle destroyed the darkness which was witnessed by some blind people.

The stylish villagers are dancing inside the discotheque with earthen pots on their heads.

I moved the cursor to open the door of our London room where I found wild cats and domestic rats.

When Bejan Daruwala met Batliboi, Chinnaswamy was angry with Pervez Batliwala.

The thief who stole her heart is the same religious criminal who looted the bank branch of Bilaspur

To think like Arun you need to have the brains of an insane person whose IQ level is minus 250 plus 520.

T H E V A R I S M

10 things I have never done

  1. I never tried to mix milk with whisky.
  2. Booked tickets and skipped watching the movie.
  3. I got an opportunity to hold a shining sword in my hand and there were few people but I decided not to kill them.
  4. Never stole money from my wife’s purse because I was aware of the consequences.
  5. Wearing a white shirt and white trousers with a black tie around the neck.
  6. Have never deleted the system files from my laptop
  7. Painted the walls with Asian Paints
  8. I never wore a raincoat to protect myself from rains. I always preferred umbrella.
  9. Driving
  10. Thought of having an affair with my ex-Girlfriend’s best friend.